I've chosen to comment on your wall because I really like the design and layout of your blog! I think the combination of the dark background with the white type and heading are great in addition to the font that you used for the title. I think that it gives your blog an air of unique sophistication and I'm happy with the simplicity of the layout!
Alesha, I am giving you feedback for your storybook, Shreemati News! First of all, from the moment I opened up the webpage, it looked incredible! Your layout is beautiful and I could tell that it was only going to get better from there! It looked exactly how an online newspaper should and I loved all of the minor details that you included such as the small classified section. I loved the detail in your introduction. The creative thought process was so prevalent. It really showed me that you took a lot of time and put in a lot of effort in order to get your desired result. By including the picture of where the editors work, you added an important visual for the readers! Lastly, I loved the little detail of having the subscribe button at the very bottom! You did an exceptionally great job with your storybook and you have a strong foundation for your upcoming posts!
Hey Alesha, this week I am commenting on your introduction and webpage. First impression, WOW. I absolutely love the overall look of your webpage. It is a very clean look and very professional. I really feel like I am at a business page. You did a great job incorporating the images from different scenes into your website. I think you did a great job adding the Sita’s missing breaking news. This is very compelling and I am very engaged already as a reader and I am only on the first page. Your “cover page” is magnificent and I really have no criticisms to offer. I can tell that you spent time developing this site.
On to the introduction! So first off I see a continuation of this very nice clean design which is great and I like the little blurb about who we are. This definitely belongs in the introduction page. Ascetically your site is very pleasing and to continue I like the touch at the bottom about subscribing here. Great Add. Your spelling and grammar is great. There were a few sentences that I had to read over twice to make sure I read them right and after reading them I understood the meaning, I think it has to do with the word flow, not that the wording is incorrect. Example, “...to keep our status of educated and knowledgeable women of our community.” When I re-read it I thought it was fine, but it might trip up other readers are well I might suggest to reword the sentence as “... to keep our status as educated and knowledgeable women of our community.” I am being really fine detailed. Anyways, you did a fantastic job with your site. I really am blown away by the work you have done so far and I look forward to reading more of your stories!
Alesha, I'm here to comment on your storybook "Shreemati News" and I must say that I am very impressed! I think you did a great job with the way you presented the information, the way you formatted it, and the way that you pull the audience in by involving them with the "Subscribe Here" button. I think it’s very interesting the way you use the role of wife as the viewpoint for the paper, basically a “made by and for women” newspaper. You even provided the information behind the newspapers name furthering your “for the wife” mantra. Overall your site looks amazing! I mean honestly I’m sitting here trying to find something wrong with it and I can’t. It looks like you’ve put a lot of effort into it, trying to make it very serious, very official looking and it’s worked. Honestly I’m a little jealous of how good yours looks and I’m gonna go back and fix mine!
I chose your storybook as my free choice for this week. I chose it randomly, because it just happened to be the first on the list, but I am so glad that I did. The first thing that caught my attention was the look of your webpage. It does truly look like an online newspaper and I knew exactly what it was when I first looked at it. It definitely looks like you put a lot of effort into making it look realistic and it definitely paid off. Along with looking at your homepage, I also read your introduction. It gives plenty of detail so I know exactly what your newspaper is all about. I love the added details, like the 'subscribe here' icon. I am definitely going to have to return to your storybook and see the rest of the stories. I really love what you have done so far. Can't wait to see the rest!
Hey Alesha! First of all I would like to start off by saying that your storybook looks amazing! I am very impressed! It looks like an actual newspaper website. This really helps the credibility of your storybook. It helps out with drawing the illusion of a newspaper website. I like how simple your storybook is as well. The background is white and plain. This makes it look very clean, professional, and concise. Your writing as well was concise and clear. Just from reading your introduction, I feel like I know what to expect from your storybook. I can say that I am already interested in what you have. I feel like your style is really creative; I have not seen anything like it. I also like the picture you included, depicting the newspaper office. It fits very well with the style of the storybook - -clean, concise, and professional. I look forward to reading more from your storybook.
Hi Alesha! First and foremost, I would like to comment on how 'fresh and clean' your storybook website is. And yes, I may have been listening to the Outkast song as I was typing this! But, from what I see above in the comments I'm sure I'm not the only one who appreciates it. I really would love to know how you created your layout. I honestly thought that I was being directed to a completely different website up until I read the header! I love the idea you had to use a newspaper to convey the stories from your storybook. You do have a point though. The main focus in the readings is usually upon Rama and other male characters. It will be nice to hear about the main female protagonist who have contributed to the development of these Indian epics. I wish you much luck as you progress through the semester and as you work on this project. I'll be coming back to read as you add to the storybook! Great job!
Alesha! Your storybook layout is awesome! I love how you've done the newspaper format so well. Like other people said before me, your layout is minimalistic and really reflects what you said your goal was in your introduction. I bet it wouldn't be too hard to make the subscribe button lead to an RSS subscription- honestly, I was a tiny bit disappointed it didn't because I wanted to get your stories in my inbox each week! It was very clear what your storybook would be about, and the theme you chose feels different and fresh. Overall, really, really well done. Your headline/content format feels just like a newspaper, especially one suited for today's reader. The story behind it sounded a little bit like the Skimm- not sure if you're familiar, but it also started with two women who wanted to make a clean and concise newsletter/paper. Great idea, Alesha. Really looking forward to reading more as the semester progresses!
I really liked your idea for the storybook as a news journal dedicated to integrity. Having the introduction read like a companies mission and vision statement was very clever. It informed me not only of the news site itself, but what your storybook will entail. It leaves you with a full range of any content to use as a news story from the readings of the past semester. Including award information, along with pictures of the office was a nice touch. Although they’re not working links, it was another nice detail to have different sections of your news site, such as recipes, travel and classified. It reminds me of sites such as Huffington Post, that offer a diverse and wide range of topics for their readers. Great job on the website overall! I can’t wait to see how the rest of the storybook develops and what will be the news topics covered.
I have looked at your storybook once before already so I decided that I would choose it again as my free choice for this week. So today I looked at the first story, Sita's kidnapping. I have to say that I still really love the way that you set this storybook up to look completely like a newspaper. I like how instead of having the story be like a story, you set it up as a type of outline that gives you the time and details. I think this is very creative and I enjoyed reading it. I like how you have the picture of a camera at the top to really make it seem like a news story. I think all these small details that you put in really make your story stand out. Overall, I can't wait to see the other stories that you add throughout the semester.
I really liked your storybook! I thought it was really organized and looked really good! I am also doing mine over sita. I like how yours was like a newspaper/breaking news kind of thing. I enjoyed reading your first story and I loved the way you told it. I cant wait to see the rest of your storybook.
Hey Alesha! I will be commenting on your introduction today. The first aspect of your storybook that catches my attention is the background. The design really gives your website a newspaper-like theme. I personally like the feature where you added a “subscribe here” button. I can see that you put a lot of thought into it and looks good. Your writing is also very creative. I can tell that you did a lot of proofreading to make sure the grammar was correct. I like the concept of your storybook. The name Shreemati fits the concept of your website well. In the real stories I noticed that the men did not appreciate the women that much. It will be interesting to see the different stories from the women’s point of view. I will look forward to reading the rest of your story to see how you delve into Sita’s and Draupadi’s mind. Good luck on the rest of your story.
Hi Alesha! I'm commenting on your introduction as my free choice! I clicked on your portfolio because I noticed your title had an obvious theme of something media related. I like to read stories that catch my attention, and your title pulled me in! I like the fact that you created a newspaper that focused on woman characters. It's true that most woman characters are overshadowed by male leads which seems unfair because more often than not, the women aid men tremendously in their adventures. The layout of your storybook was beautiful. It looks professional like a real newspaper website. Thank you for explaining what Shreemati means! I honestly thought it was a female character that I had forgotten. That was a nice creative touch! I also thought it was funny how you advertised your paper! It makes it that much more realistic. I will be back to read more about Sita's kidnapping! You've done a marvelous job with your storybook!
Hey Alesha! I chose to read your storybook again to see how you had decided to do the stories that you add to it and I think it's great! I still loved the way you formatted your site and I was not disappointed by the way you designed your first story to go.
I think it's great the way you did a time play by play and I think it makes the story a little more suspenseful. However I do think that you could have added more description to certain parts of the story to make it more elaborate. Also in your author's note you mentioned that you wanted it to seem as if they were sort of live reporting it back to the news agency and I think that maybe you could have actually used one of the women in your introduction to actually be in the story acting like a reporter to give it more connection. That's just a suggestion though and I think your story is great the way it is!
Alesha, I am still in love with your storybook! I really dig the layout you've chosen, and you've done a great job sticking with it. It looks a lot like a newspaper, but also fits the formatting requirements of a storybook really well. I've been looking forward to coming back and reading your storybook, and I'll definitely be back for more.
The story itself was great, and done in a very editorial style. I feel bad for Lakshmana, since he's getting a little bit of the blame here! The very real idea of Sita knowing her assailant is good too. A lot of people don't realize that that's usually the case in assault cases, but it's true. I wonder where Lakshmana's gotten off to, and if we'll find out! One thing--I think some of your non-plot-moving details could be turned into details that do move the plot forward. An example of this--the police moving slowly, but starting to walk towards reporters. This doesn't necessarily further the plot, but it's completely up to you. Overall, really great storybook Alesha!
WOW! I am blown away with your Storybook, it looks so amazing and so inviting for people to view it. As soon as I clicked the link to read your storybook, I kind of got this Harriet the Spy journalism feel to it. I really like how you have stuck with the theme of your storybook, which makes it so much easier to read and actually follow the story. I really like how you structured your story, that was really different and nothing that I would have thought of seeing for a storybook option. I felt like I was reading a police report or something. I think that the way that you did post made it so much easier to follow and actually understand exactly what was happening at the time. I am curious to see what story you decide to do next. Really good job and I will be returning to see what else you add!
Alesha, you have yet again amazed me. You truly are a gifted writer! I have read your introduction once before and visited your storybook site, but now I have read your first story on the site and it is excellent! I am in love with the layout you chose for everything. I think that it is incredibly creative to make the whole storybook like a giant newspaper with different news stories that pop up every week. I really wish that I had thought of that. Also, I am curious. How did you come up with the name, the Shreemati News? Was it something that you read somewhere in this class, somewhere outside of class, or did you simply invent the title? I guess it does not matter, I was just very curious. Again, the story on the site looks great and I cannot wait to see what other news stories you add to the mix!
Hey Alehsa! I am commenting on Sita's kidnapping as my extra credit free choice, and I must say no regrets! I love how your storybook has really developed! The way you formatted your storybook has a news report really made the story so suspenseful. I couldn't look away! It was scary to think about how a villain disguised himself and entered into someone's home. Your description on Sita's struggle with the scratches on the wall made me cringe. I can't imagine trying to fight someone to save my life. The press conference at the end of the story was a nice touch because it really made the news station come to life. Your writing style is unbelievably advanced and has a nice flow for the reader. I'll be back to read more!
Hey Alehsa. I really enjoyed reading your story. I was a little worried how you were going to pull off a news story format, but I think you did a great job. The format was exactly like a news story, which I really enjoyed. There was a great flow in each of the different news segments. I love the set up of your story and the picture might have been my favorite part. The way the picture was formatted really added to the newspaper idea of your story. You did a great job building the suspense, and I liked how the time frame was added. I liked your background and your font size. I didn't have to adjust anything on my computer screen. Your grammar looked great to me. I am excited to see what happens with the rest of your story. I think you did a great job really capturing the story of Sita's kidnap. Great job!
I adored the way your storybook was set up! I was fascinated by the layout of the site and even attempted to click on some of the links on the bottom (sadly, they go nowhere). When I clicked on the Breaking News banner scrolled across the front page, it took me to what looked like a real article I would see on any news website. I really liked the fact that everything was in the form of a timeline, just like it would be on any news station if they were really covering this as a breaking news story. There were some things that needed to be looked over, such as some spelling and grammar errors. One example is when you redefined Ravana as the “Lord of the Demons”, that needs to be capitalized. Overall, I was very impressed with your story! I really enjoyed the fact that you included Sita’s jewelry being left behind – that was one of my favorite parts of the Ramayana.
Alesha, this is the third time that I have visited your storybook site and I must say that I am impressed yet again! You continue to blow me away with your creativeness in both the way you write and in the way that your site is organized! I loved the new story that you added for this week about Draupadi’s interview. It had a lot of great details included and I especially loved the little details of her opening up her own yoga studio! Hilarious and creative! The way that you told the story of Draupadi throughout the process of the interview was genius. I have said it before and I will say it again, I wish that I had modeled my storybook site after yours! The newspaper idea is absolutely perfect and I hope that Laura uses your storybook as an example for the classes in the future because you did such a great job!
Hey Alesha! I'm back again! I've been waiting for your second story to come out so that I could comment on that one as well! Again you did not disappoint me with what you came up with. Again you were able to keep your style in the same framework as before but you were also able to change it up as well. I like that you brought Draupadi to the forefront as one of your interviewees. I feel that all the women in these Indian Epics were given a really raw deal and I think that by showing a different perspective it shows how bad they had it. Like you said in your author's note, Draupadi was given a bum deal. She had five husbands, was gambled away, and then had to go into exile with them! However I like how, in your story, you had her find her own way to enjoy the freedom she gained in exile! Great story again!
I think your idea to tell women’s stories through a newspaper is very powerful approach. It allows you a lot of flexibility. I enjoyed how the Introduction was written as a newspaper mission statement. However, I think this statement would sound better in the present tense. Goals and missions are the realm of the present, and I think it would sound more assertive if you changed the past tense to present. Similarly, I think you could change the tense of your “Breaking News” story about Sita. Here, you write in present tense, but news is about what happened, and I think it would sound more like a news site in past tense. There are a couple times where you slip into past tense, such as for the 4:07 PM story. Try to keep the entire story consistent. I like the layout of the story, with the time of each update, and you did a good job with the details. I also really like the picture you chose. While it is a little too artsy for a news article, it seems to capture the mood very well. Good job!
Hi again! I read your interview story this week! I really enjoyed it. I came back to your story book because I absolutely adore the newspaper format of it. I will say the font is hard to read. I think the font is too thin to be on an all white background. I would maybe bold the font or change the font style. I think the story was good. I am glad it was in a question answer format. That was a great choice. I did not see any grammar errors. It is hard to imagine what she would have emotionally gone through having been gambled away her. It was nice to get the story from her point of view. It was also nice to see that she was a strong individual and able to overcome those hardships. Overall I really liked your story and I look forward to reading more.
For this week, I read the Interview with Draupadi. I really like how you incorporated Draupadi's story into an interview with the newspaper. I also like the details about being in the coffee shop and having Draupadi willing to do the interview about what she went through. I think this was so creative and I really enjoy looking at your storybook. I think that your writing is great and I had no problems reading and understanding your story. I really like how you set it up to really feel like an interview in a newspaper. I like how Draupadi is moving on with her life and doing what she wants to do. You can tell that she is really trying to figure out her own life away from all the bad things that had happened to her. Its good to see that she is having a much better life now.
Hey Alesha! I am revisiting your storybook called Shreemati News again. First off, I would like to say that I really enjoy the creativity that you have put into your blog idea and design. I like how you put a lot of current events in your blog to give it a newspaper-like quality. I also like how it is a different idea from the traditional storybook that I have seen a lot in this class. Your idea is very unique. After reading your story I do not see many grammar errors. The way you format the interview is good. I like how the readers get to delve into the feeling of Draupadi a little more in this interview. I also felt bad for her in the original story when she was simply gambled away. I like the twist in your version where she actually leaves her husbands after being mistreated. The addition of the yoga detail was also nice. Good job!
Hey Alesha! I really like your storybook. I think it is very creative and unique. I also like the layout and design of your storybook. I thought putting it as a newspaper/interview was very creative for your storybook. Shreemati reminds me of a clothing store in India my family and i go to frequently when we visit India. I thought this was a great title for the news. I also like the pictures you included. Your storybook is neat and organized. Overall great job! I am looking forward to reading more of your stories.
Having the time updates to your story really sells the idea that this is a news site. I think that was a great additional detail. Having a reporter recount the details of the kidnapping through a third party was also a good way to fill in the gaps of the story where the main character, Rama, is supposed to be oblivious to. Also having Lakshmana listed to be missing to is another good way to give the readers a red herring in terms of who may have been responsible for the kidnapping of Sita. Maybe on the paragraph that starts at the time 3:15, having the police not figure out so easily that Sita left the bracelet as a clue? It could be a chance to demonstrate some detective work for the police and also potentially introduce another character to the story, such as a detective. Overall great story!
Hi Alesha. This is the first time I have ever visited your storybook, so this time I only read the introduction. I think you have done a great job! Your storybook is very organized and has a very professional yet modern appeal to it, something you would expect to see as the site of a progressive newspaper. On that note, I really liked your approach to the story telling. Using the newspaper as a way to convey your stories will make it very easy for the readers to follow. I think it is cool that you are choosing to focus on the female characters in the story. Male characters usually dominate epics like this, so it will be interesting to hear these same tales from a female perspective. I also really liked how you defined the title of the paper at the bottom of the page. That fits perfectly with your themes of professionalism and female-centric approach. Great job.
Hello once again Alesha. So last week when we got to revisit the projects of people that we had commented on before, I became frustrated because I couldn't find yours. I also blame my well know procrastination in not finding your project. I loved your story about Draupadi. For the second part of the semester Professor Gibbs, gave me a good book to read Palace of Illusions and it focuses on Draupadi's life, from her point of view. It was a really good book and it made it more exciting to read your story about her. I think that the gambling story was crazy when I first read it. I also have a good storytelling post about the Draupadi being gambled away by her husbands if you wanted to check it out later. Overall, really good job on your storybook it is amazingly put together, easy to read, and also intriguing. It keeps people on their toes!
Hey Alesha! I've decided to pick you as one of my appreciation comments!! I feel like you did a really great job with your storybook and I think it really shows when a person puts a lot of effort into what they publish and I think it really shows with your storybook and your blog! I love what you've done with both and I think it deserves a nod of appreciation!
Hey Alesha! I came back to read your third story in your storybook! Again I think you’ve done a great job with this story stylistically, design wise, and I love how you changed up the way that you delivered the information! I think it really looks like a website for news! The advice column was a great idea and was also a great way to put an interesting new spin to the story. I was actually really entertained with the way that you integrated Kaikeyi as a positive character instead of an evil one by saying she learned from her own experience! It really fit in this more modern setting, even for modern women it fits!
Overall I think you have done a great job of creating an interesting way to present the original stories without really keeping a firm grasp on the entire story. Plus the way you have presented it with your well-displayed storybook is great!
Sita Kidnapped From Home: The way that the story of Sita being kidnapped was made into a story was interesting. I like how the story was laid out in an update form and that each paragraph had a timestamp to it. The story was also very descriptive and it felt like I was able to visual what was occurring in the story. I liked how it included a perspective of a neighbor it added credence to the newspaper story. One thing that I thought was odd in the story was that in the story speculation was included in it. This happens in the second paragraph with the timestamp of 3:03 pm. It says that the newspaper believes that Lakshmana was avoiding the press but at the time all that was known was that no one knew where he was. So for a newspaper that won the reliability award, speculation is an odd thing to include in an article, especially one that is about a crime.
Hi Alesha! I just read your introduction and your first story about Sita. Firstly, I have to point out how awesome your storybook looks. The formatting is spot on: it's clean, easy to navigate, and it really does look like a website you might see for a newspaper or a magazine. I love the different images you used, and you added a lot of really nice touches that make it looks like an authentic site. Your introduction also really helped add to this image. I like how your introduction wasn't necessarily a direct lead-in to your stories but rather an "about us" page that helped explain the background of the paper. It was really well-done and I was compelled to read more. Your first story was also really well done. I liked how you included the timestamps so we could see the gradual unfolding of the events at hand. The characters seemed believable and it was a really creative way to re-tell this story in a modern setting. I really enjoyed your storybook and I look forward to reading more!
Hello! This is my first time visiting your storybook, and I am overall impressed. As the semester comes to an end, I am trying to make sure I've had a chance to go through each person's project as each one is so unique. I Love the approach you took to your storybook. What a clever idea to use the news as the way to tell these stories. I also love that you chose to focus on female characters instead of male characters. It often feels like a lot of the female characters get a little overlooked, so I appreciate that you wanted to let them shine in your storybook. You have a Great layout, it's very user friendly, and I think the color scheme is great. Overall, great work!
Alesha, I am back once again and I have completely read every story in your storybook. I think my favorite part of your storybook was the advice column. It brought me back to my high school days when I was on the newspaper team and they put me in charge of the advice column. I think that the advice column serves one of the most important tasks that a newspaper can hold. The advice column is that deciding factor for people on whether or not they want to do good or bad. I think that your entire storybook was amazing and it was a delight to read this semester. If I didn’t know any better I would say that you watch a lot of crime scene investigation show and that was your inspiration for this storybook. You should continue with the blog, you have a gift for writing. Really good job!
Hong Kong Travel Guide -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Chrome, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, wonderful blog!
Get to Know: Draupad I liked how the story was set up as an interview. This gave the story a unique feel to it. I liked how Shreemati News was presented. The dialogue of it was in an informal manner and Shreemati News looked like they were kind people who cared about what they were doing and for who they were talking to. The dialogue because of the style of the story was also nice because of the interview everything was from either Draupadi or Shreemati News. I also like how Draupadi was presented in the story. It felt like she really did exist and her character was fully fleshed out. I liked how she was presented as a yogi instructor and she used her experiences from the past as a motivation source and how she used that to help other people. It was also nice to see insights into her thoughts on being gambled away and how she overcame her trials.
Hey Alesha! the first thing i wanted to say was that your whole story book page looks amazing. The page is constructed really well and looks really modern. I love the whole CSI dramatized version of Sitas Kidnapping. It was my first time seeing anyone do this. It was a brilliant and creative way to tell the story. The whole creation of suburbanish setting was great too. The neighbor, Talia, provide a great way bring the story of Rama closer to us. I loved how you changed small aspects of the story to match your topic. My favorite example was the fact that Sita left scratch marks and from the scene of the crime a struggle took place there.To tie it all up. I think what your story my favorite was your originality. It was new take on the story that kept it fresh and easy to read. Great Story.
Congrats on being selected as one of the favorite storybooks for this semester. For some reason, I haven't read your storybook before this week. Which is sad and awesome at the same time. It is sad because I didn't get to enjoy it over the course of the semester. It's awesome because now I get to read and enjoy your storybook. I love the layout of the storybook! I feel as if I was reading a CNN report update of the kidnapping of Sita. I enjoyed the idea and theme of the newspaper. Men were featured often in the epics so way to go on featuring the women in your stories. The stories flowed really well. I also love the pictures that you selected. It was easy to step right in and feel as though I had not even missed a beat. I also enjoyed the interview. I've read interviews before in that style and it works great with the epics stories.
Hi Alesha! Congratulations on being selected as one of the best storybooks in the class. You deserve it! It's obvious you put a lot of thought into your theme, layout, introduction, and each story. Great job! This week I read Get to Know: Draupadi. I loved the layout for the story. It was a clever idea to make it like a real news interview with dialogue going back and forth between the two. It was not only easy to read, but fun to read. The story was detailed and gave us a lot of information on Draupadi. Great job!
Hi Alesha! Congrats on getting selected as one of the favorite storybooks! I can definitely agree as to why yours is a favorite! I think this might be my first time visiting your Storybook. The layout and theme is just amazing and looks so good! The image that you chose for the cover page of your website is perfect. Your introduction is very intriguing and clear. The theme of having this in a newspaper style fits very well for the Storybook topic. The story of Sita being kidnapped was great! I love how it was in stated by the time of when everything happened. The details of the investigation really helped your story- it was as if we are sitting there in real life or watching a movie! Even the added touch of the phone number to call if anyone gets a clue to anything was a great additional aspect to the story. Good job! Keep up the great work!
I've chosen to comment on your wall because I really like the design and layout of your blog! I think the combination of the dark background with the white type and heading are great in addition to the font that you used for the title. I think that it gives your blog an air of unique sophistication and I'm happy with the simplicity of the layout!
ReplyDeleteAlesha, I am giving you feedback for your storybook, Shreemati News! First of all, from the moment I opened up the webpage, it looked incredible! Your layout is beautiful and I could tell that it was only going to get better from there! It looked exactly how an online newspaper should and I loved all of the minor details that you included such as the small classified section. I loved the detail in your introduction. The creative thought process was so prevalent. It really showed me that you took a lot of time and put in a lot of effort in order to get your desired result. By including the picture of where the editors work, you added an important visual for the readers! Lastly, I loved the little detail of having the subscribe button at the very bottom! You did an exceptionally great job with your storybook and you have a strong foundation for your upcoming posts!
ReplyDeleteHey Alesha, this week I am commenting on your introduction and webpage. First impression, WOW. I absolutely love the overall look of your webpage. It is a very clean look and very professional. I really feel like I am at a business page. You did a great job incorporating the images from different scenes into your website. I think you did a great job adding the Sita’s missing breaking news. This is very compelling and I am very engaged already as a reader and I am only on the first page. Your “cover page” is magnificent and I really have no criticisms to offer. I can tell that you spent time developing this site.
ReplyDeleteOn to the introduction! So first off I see a continuation of this very nice clean design which is great and I like the little blurb about who we are. This definitely belongs in the introduction page. Ascetically your site is very pleasing and to continue I like the touch at the bottom about subscribing here. Great Add. Your spelling and grammar is great. There were a few sentences that I had to read over twice to make sure I read them right and after reading them I understood the meaning, I think it has to do with the word flow, not that the wording is incorrect. Example, “...to keep our status of educated and knowledgeable women of our community.” When I re-read it I thought it was fine, but it might trip up other readers are well I might suggest to reword the sentence as “... to keep our status as educated and knowledgeable women of our community.” I am being really fine detailed. Anyways, you did a fantastic job with your site. I really am blown away by the work you have done so far and I look forward to reading more of your stories!
Alesha, I'm here to comment on your storybook "Shreemati News" and I must say that I am very impressed! I think you did a great job with the way you presented the information, the way you formatted it, and the way that you pull the audience in by involving them with the "Subscribe Here" button. I think it’s very interesting the way you use the role of wife as the viewpoint for the paper, basically a “made by and for women” newspaper. You even provided the information behind the newspapers name furthering your “for the wife” mantra. Overall your site looks amazing! I mean honestly I’m sitting here trying to find something wrong with it and I can’t. It looks like you’ve put a lot of effort into it, trying to make it very serious, very official looking and it’s worked. Honestly I’m a little jealous of how good yours looks and I’m gonna go back and fix mine!
ReplyDeleteI chose your storybook as my free choice for this week. I chose it randomly, because it just happened to be the first on the list, but I am so glad that I did. The first thing that caught my attention was the look of your webpage. It does truly look like an online newspaper and I knew exactly what it was when I first looked at it. It definitely looks like you put a lot of effort into making it look realistic and it definitely paid off. Along with looking at your homepage, I also read your introduction. It gives plenty of detail so I know exactly what your newspaper is all about. I love the added details, like the 'subscribe here' icon. I am definitely going to have to return to your storybook and see the rest of the stories. I really love what you have done so far. Can't wait to see the rest!
ReplyDeleteHey Alesha!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I would like to start off by saying that your storybook looks amazing! I am very impressed! It looks like an actual newspaper website. This really helps the credibility of your storybook. It helps out with drawing the illusion of a newspaper website.
I like how simple your storybook is as well. The background is white and plain. This makes it look very clean, professional, and concise. Your writing as well was concise and clear. Just from reading your introduction, I feel like I know what to expect from your storybook. I can say that I am already interested in what you have. I feel like your style is really creative; I have not seen anything like it.
I also like the picture you included, depicting the newspaper office. It fits very well with the style of the storybook - -clean, concise, and professional. I look forward to reading more from your storybook.
Hi Alesha!
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost, I would like to comment on how 'fresh and clean' your storybook website is. And yes, I may have been listening to the Outkast song as I was typing this! But, from what I see above in the comments I'm sure I'm not the only one who appreciates it. I really would love to know how you created your layout. I honestly thought that I was being directed to a completely different website up until I read the header! I love the idea you had to use a newspaper to convey the stories from your storybook. You do have a point though. The main focus in the readings is usually upon Rama and other male characters. It will be nice to hear about the main female protagonist who have contributed to the development of these Indian epics.
I wish you much luck as you progress through the semester and as you work on this project. I'll be coming back to read as you add to the storybook! Great job!
Alesha! Your storybook layout is awesome! I love how you've done the newspaper format so well. Like other people said before me, your layout is minimalistic and really reflects what you said your goal was in your introduction. I bet it wouldn't be too hard to make the subscribe button lead to an RSS subscription- honestly, I was a tiny bit disappointed it didn't because I wanted to get your stories in my inbox each week! It was very clear what your storybook would be about, and the theme you chose feels different and fresh. Overall, really, really well done. Your headline/content format feels just like a newspaper, especially one suited for today's reader. The story behind it sounded a little bit like the Skimm- not sure if you're familiar, but it also started with two women who wanted to make a clean and concise newsletter/paper. Great idea, Alesha. Really looking forward to reading more as the semester progresses!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your idea for the storybook as a news journal dedicated to integrity. Having the introduction read like a companies mission and vision statement was very clever. It informed me not only of the news site itself, but what your storybook will entail. It leaves you with a full range of any content to use as a news story from the readings of the past semester. Including award information, along with pictures of the office was a nice touch. Although they’re not working links, it was another nice detail to have different sections of your news site, such as recipes, travel and classified. It reminds me of sites such as Huffington Post, that offer a diverse and wide range of topics for their readers. Great job on the website overall! I can’t wait to see how the rest of the storybook develops and what will be the news topics covered.
ReplyDeleteI have looked at your storybook once before already so I decided that I would choose it again as my free choice for this week. So today I looked at the first story, Sita's kidnapping. I have to say that I still really love the way that you set this storybook up to look completely like a newspaper. I like how instead of having the story be like a story, you set it up as a type of outline that gives you the time and details. I think this is very creative and I enjoyed reading it. I like how you have the picture of a camera at the top to really make it seem like a news story. I think all these small details that you put in really make your story stand out. Overall, I can't wait to see the other stories that you add throughout the semester.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your storybook! I thought it was really organized and looked really good! I am also doing mine over sita. I like how yours was like a newspaper/breaking news kind of thing. I enjoyed reading your first story and I loved the way you told it. I cant wait to see the rest of your storybook.
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ReplyDeleteHey Alesha! I will be commenting on your introduction today. The first aspect of your storybook that catches my attention is the background. The design really gives your website a newspaper-like theme. I personally like the feature where you added a “subscribe here” button. I can see that you put a lot of thought into it and looks good. Your writing is also very creative. I can tell that you did a lot of proofreading to make sure the grammar was correct. I like the concept of your storybook. The name Shreemati fits the concept of your website well. In the real stories I noticed that the men did not appreciate the women that much. It will be interesting to see the different stories from the women’s point of view. I will look forward to reading the rest of your story to see how you delve into Sita’s and Draupadi’s mind. Good luck on the rest of your story.
Hi Alesha!
ReplyDeleteI'm commenting on your introduction as my free choice! I clicked on your portfolio because I noticed your title had an obvious theme of something media related. I like to read stories that catch my attention, and your title pulled me in! I like the fact that you created a newspaper that focused on woman characters. It's true that most woman characters are overshadowed by male leads which seems unfair because more often than not, the women aid men tremendously in their adventures. The layout of your storybook was beautiful. It looks professional like a real newspaper website. Thank you for explaining what Shreemati means! I honestly thought it was a female character that I had forgotten. That was a nice creative touch! I also thought it was funny how you advertised your paper! It makes it that much more realistic. I will be back to read more about Sita's kidnapping! You've done a marvelous job with your storybook!
Hey Alesha!
ReplyDeleteI chose to read your storybook again to see how you had decided to do the stories that you add to it and I think it's great! I still loved the way you formatted your site and I was not disappointed by the way you designed your first story to go.
I think it's great the way you did a time play by play and I think it makes the story a little more suspenseful. However I do think that you could have added more description to certain parts of the story to make it more elaborate. Also in your author's note you mentioned that you wanted it to seem as if they were sort of live reporting it back to the news agency and I think that maybe you could have actually used one of the women in your introduction to actually be in the story acting like a reporter to give it more connection. That's just a suggestion though and I think your story is great the way it is!
Alesha, I am still in love with your storybook! I really dig the layout you've chosen, and you've done a great job sticking with it. It looks a lot like a newspaper, but also fits the formatting requirements of a storybook really well. I've been looking forward to coming back and reading your storybook, and I'll definitely be back for more.
ReplyDeleteThe story itself was great, and done in a very editorial style. I feel bad for Lakshmana, since he's getting a little bit of the blame here! The very real idea of Sita knowing her assailant is good too. A lot of people don't realize that that's usually the case in assault cases, but it's true. I wonder where Lakshmana's gotten off to, and if we'll find out! One thing--I think some of your non-plot-moving details could be turned into details that do move the plot forward. An example of this--the police moving slowly, but starting to walk towards reporters. This doesn't necessarily further the plot, but it's completely up to you. Overall, really great storybook Alesha!
WOW!
ReplyDeleteI am blown away with your Storybook, it looks so amazing and so inviting for people to view it. As soon as I clicked the link to read your storybook, I kind of got this Harriet the Spy journalism feel to it. I really like how you have stuck with the theme of your storybook, which makes it so much easier to read and actually follow the story.
I really like how you structured your story, that was really different and nothing that I would have thought of seeing for a storybook option. I felt like I was reading a police report or something. I think that the way that you did post made it so much easier to follow and actually understand exactly what was happening at the time. I am curious to see what story you decide to do next. Really good job and I will be returning to see what else you add!
Alesha, you have yet again amazed me. You truly are a gifted writer! I have read your introduction once before and visited your storybook site, but now I have read your first story on the site and it is excellent! I am in love with the layout you chose for everything. I think that it is incredibly creative to make the whole storybook like a giant newspaper with different news stories that pop up every week. I really wish that I had thought of that. Also, I am curious. How did you come up with the name, the Shreemati News? Was it something that you read somewhere in this class, somewhere outside of class, or did you simply invent the title? I guess it does not matter, I was just very curious. Again, the story on the site looks great and I cannot wait to see what other news stories you add to the mix!
ReplyDeleteHey Alehsa!
ReplyDeleteI am commenting on Sita's kidnapping as my extra credit free choice, and I must say no regrets! I love how your storybook has really developed! The way you formatted your storybook has a news report really made the story so suspenseful. I couldn't look away! It was scary to think about how a villain disguised himself and entered into someone's home. Your description on Sita's struggle with the scratches on the wall made me cringe. I can't imagine trying to fight someone to save my life. The press conference at the end of the story was a nice touch because it really made the news station come to life. Your writing style is unbelievably advanced and has a nice flow for the reader. I'll be back to read more!
Hey Alehsa. I really enjoyed reading your story. I was a little worried how you were going to pull off a news story format, but I think you did a great job. The format was exactly like a news story, which I really enjoyed. There was a great flow in each of the different news segments. I love the set up of your story and the picture might have been my favorite part. The way the picture was formatted really added to the newspaper idea of your story. You did a great job building the suspense, and I liked how the time frame was added. I liked your background and your font size. I didn't have to adjust anything on my computer screen. Your grammar looked great to me. I am excited to see what happens with the rest of your story. I think you did a great job really capturing the story of Sita's kidnap. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI adored the way your storybook was set up! I was fascinated by the layout of the site and even attempted to click on some of the links on the bottom (sadly, they go nowhere). When I clicked on the Breaking News banner scrolled across the front page, it took me to what looked like a real article I would see on any news website. I really liked the fact that everything was in the form of a timeline, just like it would be on any news station if they were really covering this as a breaking news story.
ReplyDeleteThere were some things that needed to be looked over, such as some spelling and grammar errors. One example is when you redefined Ravana as the “Lord of the Demons”, that needs to be capitalized.
Overall, I was very impressed with your story! I really enjoyed the fact that you included Sita’s jewelry being left behind – that was one of my favorite parts of the Ramayana.
Alesha, this is the third time that I have visited your storybook site and I must say that I am impressed yet again! You continue to blow me away with your creativeness in both the way you write and in the way that your site is organized! I loved the new story that you added for this week about Draupadi’s interview. It had a lot of great details included and I especially loved the little details of her opening up her own yoga studio! Hilarious and creative! The way that you told the story of Draupadi throughout the process of the interview was genius. I have said it before and I will say it again, I wish that I had modeled my storybook site after yours! The newspaper idea is absolutely perfect and I hope that Laura uses your storybook as an example for the classes in the future because you did such a great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Alesha! I'm back again! I've been waiting for your second story to come out so that I could comment on that one as well! Again you did not disappoint me with what you came up with. Again you were able to keep your style in the same framework as before but you were also able to change it up as well. I like that you brought Draupadi to the forefront as one of your interviewees. I feel that all the women in these Indian Epics were given a really raw deal and I think that by showing a different perspective it shows how bad they had it. Like you said in your author's note, Draupadi was given a bum deal. She had five husbands, was gambled away, and then had to go into exile with them! However I like how, in your story, you had her find her own way to enjoy the freedom she gained in exile! Great story again!
ReplyDeleteI think your idea to tell women’s stories through a newspaper is very powerful approach. It allows you a lot of flexibility. I enjoyed how the Introduction was written as a newspaper mission statement. However, I think this statement would sound better in the present tense. Goals and missions are the realm of the present, and I think it would sound more assertive if you changed the past tense to present. Similarly, I think you could change the tense of your “Breaking News” story about Sita. Here, you write in present tense, but news is about what happened, and I think it would sound more like a news site in past tense. There are a couple times where you slip into past tense, such as for the 4:07 PM story. Try to keep the entire story consistent. I like the layout of the story, with the time of each update, and you did a good job with the details. I also really like the picture you chose. While it is a little too artsy for a news article, it seems to capture the mood very well. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi again! I read your interview story this week! I really enjoyed it. I came back to your story book because I absolutely adore the newspaper format of it. I will say the font is hard to read. I think the font is too thin to be on an all white background. I would maybe bold the font or change the font style. I think the story was good. I am glad it was in a question answer format. That was a great choice. I did not see any grammar errors. It is hard to imagine what she would have emotionally gone through having been gambled away her. It was nice to get the story from her point of view. It was also nice to see that she was a strong individual and able to overcome those hardships. Overall I really liked your story and I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteFor this week, I read the Interview with Draupadi. I really like how you incorporated Draupadi's story into an interview with the newspaper. I also like the details about being in the coffee shop and having Draupadi willing to do the interview about what she went through. I think this was so creative and I really enjoy looking at your storybook. I think that your writing is great and I had no problems reading and understanding your story. I really like how you set it up to really feel like an interview in a newspaper. I like how Draupadi is moving on with her life and doing what she wants to do. You can tell that she is really trying to figure out her own life away from all the bad things that had happened to her. Its good to see that she is having a much better life now.
ReplyDeleteHey Alesha! I am revisiting your storybook called Shreemati News again. First off, I would like to say that I really enjoy the creativity that you have put into your blog idea and design. I like how you put a lot of current events in your blog to give it a newspaper-like quality. I also like how it is a different idea from the traditional storybook that I have seen a lot in this class. Your idea is very unique. After reading your story I do not see many grammar errors. The way you format the interview is good. I like how the readers get to delve into the feeling of Draupadi a little more in this interview. I also felt bad for her in the original story when she was simply gambled away. I like the twist in your version where she actually leaves her husbands after being mistreated. The addition of the yoga detail was also nice. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Alesha! I really like your storybook. I think it is very creative and unique. I also like the layout and design of your storybook. I thought putting it as a newspaper/interview was very creative for your storybook. Shreemati reminds me of a clothing store in India my family and i go to frequently when we visit India. I thought this was a great title for the news. I also like the pictures you included. Your storybook is neat and organized. Overall great job! I am looking forward to reading more of your stories.
ReplyDeleteHaving the time updates to your story really sells the idea that this is a news site. I think that was a great additional detail. Having a reporter recount the details of the kidnapping through a third party was also a good way to fill in the gaps of the story where the main character, Rama, is supposed to be oblivious to. Also having Lakshmana listed to be missing to is another good way to give the readers a red herring in terms of who may have been responsible for the kidnapping of Sita. Maybe on the paragraph that starts at the time 3:15, having the police not figure out so easily that Sita left the bracelet as a clue? It could be a chance to demonstrate some detective work for the police and also potentially introduce another character to the story, such as a detective. Overall great story!
ReplyDeleteHi Alesha. This is the first time I have ever visited your storybook, so this time I only read the introduction. I think you have done a great job! Your storybook is very organized and has a very professional yet modern appeal to it, something you would expect to see as the site of a progressive newspaper. On that note, I really liked your approach to the story telling. Using the newspaper as a way to convey your stories will make it very easy for the readers to follow. I think it is cool that you are choosing to focus on the female characters in the story. Male characters usually dominate epics like this, so it will be interesting to hear these same tales from a female perspective. I also really liked how you defined the title of the paper at the bottom of the page. That fits perfectly with your themes of professionalism and female-centric approach. Great job.
ReplyDeleteHello once again Alesha. So last week when we got to revisit the projects of people that we had commented on before, I became frustrated because I couldn't find yours. I also blame my well know procrastination in not finding your project. I loved your story about Draupadi. For the second part of the semester Professor Gibbs, gave me a good book to read Palace of Illusions and it focuses on Draupadi's life, from her point of view. It was a really good book and it made it more exciting to read your story about her. I think that the gambling story was crazy when I first read it. I also have a good storytelling post about the Draupadi being gambled away by her husbands if you wanted to check it out later. Overall, really good job on your storybook it is amazingly put together, easy to read, and also intriguing. It keeps people on their toes!
ReplyDeleteHey Alesha! I've decided to pick you as one of my appreciation comments!! I feel like you did a really great job with your storybook and I think it really shows when a person puts a lot of effort into what they publish and I think it really shows with your storybook and your blog! I love what you've done with both and I think it deserves a nod of appreciation!
ReplyDeleteHey Alesha!
ReplyDeleteI came back to read your third story in your storybook! Again I think you’ve done a great job with this story stylistically, design wise, and I love how you changed up the way that you delivered the information! I think it really looks like a website for news! The advice column was a great idea and was also a great way to put an interesting new spin to the story. I was actually really entertained with the way that you integrated Kaikeyi as a positive character instead of an evil one by saying she learned from her own experience! It really fit in this more modern setting, even for modern women it fits!
Overall I think you have done a great job of creating an interesting way to present the original stories without really keeping a firm grasp on the entire story. Plus the way you have presented it with your well-displayed storybook is great!
Sita Kidnapped From Home:
ReplyDeleteThe way that the story of Sita being kidnapped was made into a story was interesting. I like how the story was laid out in an update form and that each paragraph had a timestamp to it. The story was also very descriptive and it felt like I was able to visual what was occurring in the story. I liked how it included a perspective of a neighbor it added credence to the newspaper story. One thing that I thought was odd in the story was that in the story speculation was included in it. This happens in the second paragraph with the timestamp of 3:03 pm. It says that the newspaper believes that Lakshmana was avoiding the press but at the time all that was known was that no one knew where he was. So for a newspaper that won the reliability award, speculation is an odd thing to include in an article, especially one that is about a crime.
Hi Alesha! I just read your introduction and your first story about Sita. Firstly, I have to point out how awesome your storybook looks. The formatting is spot on: it's clean, easy to navigate, and it really does look like a website you might see for a newspaper or a magazine. I love the different images you used, and you added a lot of really nice touches that make it looks like an authentic site. Your introduction also really helped add to this image. I like how your introduction wasn't necessarily a direct lead-in to your stories but rather an "about us" page that helped explain the background of the paper. It was really well-done and I was compelled to read more. Your first story was also really well done. I liked how you included the timestamps so we could see the gradual unfolding of the events at hand. The characters seemed believable and it was a really creative way to re-tell this story in a modern setting. I really enjoyed your storybook and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHello! This is my first time visiting your storybook, and I am overall impressed. As the semester comes to an end, I am trying to make sure I've had a chance to go through each person's project as each one is so unique. I Love the approach you took to your storybook. What a clever idea to use the news as the way to tell these stories. I also love that you chose to focus on female characters instead of male characters. It often feels like a lot of the female characters get a little overlooked, so I appreciate that you wanted to let them shine in your storybook. You have a Great layout, it's very user friendly, and I think the color scheme is great. Overall, great work!
ReplyDeleteAlesha,
ReplyDeleteI am back once again and I have completely read every story in your storybook. I think my favorite part of your storybook was the advice column. It brought me back to my high school days when I was on the newspaper team and they put me in charge of the advice column. I think that the advice column serves one of the most important tasks that a newspaper can hold. The advice column is that deciding factor for people on whether or not they want to do good or bad. I think that your entire storybook was amazing and it was a delight to read this semester. If I didn’t know any better I would say that you watch a lot of crime scene investigation show and that was your inspiration for this storybook. You should continue with the blog, you have a gift for writing. Really good job!
Hong Kong Travel Guide
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Hello, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility
issues. When I look at your blog in Chrome, it looks
fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, wonderful blog!
Get to Know: Draupad
ReplyDeleteI liked how the story was set up as an interview. This gave the story a unique feel to it. I liked how Shreemati News was presented. The dialogue of it was in an informal manner and Shreemati News looked like they were kind people who cared about what they were doing and for who they were talking to. The dialogue because of the style of the story was also nice because of the interview everything was from either Draupadi or Shreemati News. I also like how Draupadi was presented in the story. It felt like she really did exist and her character was fully fleshed out. I liked how she was presented as a yogi instructor and she used her experiences from the past as a motivation source and how she used that to help other people. It was also nice to see insights into her thoughts on being gambled away and how she overcame her trials.
Hey Alesha! the first thing i wanted to say was that your whole story book page looks amazing. The page is constructed really well and looks really modern. I love the whole CSI dramatized version of Sitas Kidnapping. It was my first time seeing anyone do this. It was a brilliant and creative way to tell the story. The whole creation of suburbanish setting was great too. The neighbor, Talia, provide a great way bring the story of Rama closer to us. I loved how you changed small aspects of the story to match your topic. My favorite example was the fact that Sita left scratch marks and from the scene of the crime a struggle took place there.To tie it all up. I think what your story my favorite was your originality. It was new take on the story that kept it fresh and easy to read. Great Story.
ReplyDeleteHi Alesha,
ReplyDeleteCongrats on being selected as one of the favorite storybooks for this semester. For some reason, I haven't read your storybook before this week. Which is sad and awesome at the same time. It is sad because I didn't get to enjoy it over the course of the semester. It's awesome because now I get to read and enjoy your storybook. I love the layout of the storybook! I feel as if I was reading a CNN report update of the kidnapping of Sita. I enjoyed the idea and theme of the newspaper. Men were featured often in the epics so way to go on featuring the women in your stories. The stories flowed really well. I also love the pictures that you selected. It was easy to step right in and feel as though I had not even missed a beat. I also enjoyed the interview. I've read interviews before in that style and it works great with the epics stories.
Hi Alesha! Congratulations on being selected as one of the best storybooks in the class. You deserve it! It's obvious you put a lot of thought into your theme, layout, introduction, and each story. Great job! This week I read Get to Know: Draupadi. I loved the layout for the story. It was a clever idea to make it like a real news interview with dialogue going back and forth between the two. It was not only easy to read, but fun to read. The story was detailed and gave us a lot of information on Draupadi. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Alesha! Congrats on getting selected as one of the favorite storybooks! I can definitely agree as to why yours is a favorite! I think this might be my first time visiting your Storybook. The layout and theme is just amazing and looks so good! The image that you chose for the cover page of your website is perfect. Your introduction is very intriguing and clear. The theme of having this in a newspaper style fits very well for the Storybook topic. The story of Sita being kidnapped was great! I love how it was in stated by the time of when everything happened. The details of the investigation really helped your story- it was as if we are sitting there in real life or watching a movie! Even the added touch of the phone number to call if anyone gets a clue to anything was a great additional aspect to the story. Good job! Keep up the great work!
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